So one of the books I am currently reading is I Grew Up Little by Patsy Clairmont. She is amazing. She is a former agoraphobic who is now a key speaker for Women of Faith. Anyhow, in one of the chapters of this book she is talking about her first born child and realizing how painful her battle with agoraphobia must have been on his heart. This is what she has to say:
All I ever wanted to give my son was the best, but all I could give him was who I was at that time. I'm so grateful that Jesus is a Redeemer. And that he is able to do what we can't for our children, regardless of their age. Hope is a blessed relief for a mother's broken heart and a child's future welfare.
Oh what a strong, true statement that is! When I first read this statement I had two thoughts. The first was: "That's me!", the second was: "That's my parents!". It is me because I DO want the best for my sons and I can only give them who I am at the time. I'm a different mom for Kindergarten Michael then I was for Baby Michael. I've grown. Some days it seems like a lot, others a little.
And I see that about my parents. I know my parents only want the best for me and my sisters. But growing up, they could only give us they were at the time. For me, they were 16 and 19 years old. Welfare and food stamps while dad went to welding school. I remember times in Bakersfield that we didn't own a car. Dad rode his bike to work and we either walked or rode the bus around town. There was also anger and frustration. There were mistakes made and scars to be had.
But Jesus is our Redeemer. My dad and I have not always had the greatest relationship, but we are closer now then we have ever been in my 26 years of existence. My mom is more approachable then she was just 10 years ago. I can guarantee that Jeff and I are not perfect parents (hope I didn't shock you). Most likely, there will be things Jeff and I do that at least one of our boys will vow not to. But we all have the Redeemer and I have hope...
"As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives..."
Psalm 19:25
7.27.2008
7.26.2008
Living Life
Okay, I know. It's been a while. But life has been a little bit crazy lately. So I have been blogging in my head (which is probably safest for the sake of editing purposes)and not quite getting it onto this blog. So if your wondering where my mind has been lately or why I might be crazier then normal here we go...
Insomnia
At some point in May, my body decided that sleep is overated and that I need as little to none as possible. Needless to say, this tends to make me a little cranky, confused, forgetfull, etc; Luckily, Jeff has been on vacation so when I hit my wall, if I'm lucky I can take a nap. Which isn't always the case, because often when I try to take the nap I end up feeling restless. Yuck.
Evan's Feet/ A Mother's guilt?
Oh my poor sweet Evan. It's bad enough he can only walk about 4 steps before tripping over air! I had set up my electric kettle to use at our dinning room table for breakfast and he apparently decided that it was the perfect place to take a little stroll. Needless to say he tripped over the cord and the kettle knocked over and poured boiling water on his sweet little feet. This is where the momentary Mother's Guilt comes in. If only...or if only...or...but I don't have time to deal with a Mother's Guilt. If it hadn't been the boiling water it could have just as easily been something else. It's amazing how quickly the enemy plants those cancerous thoughts in your mind. Instead it is thank you Father, it was only his feet.
We know that God has done miraculous healing on his feet! When we had to take him to the burn center in Fresno we were told it would take at least a year to recover and to keep him off of his feet as much as possible (talk apart the parting of the Red Sea--you expect us to keep an active 22 month old, who has active older brothers, off of his feet? PA SHAW!) However, when we took him to the physical therapist on Wednesday, she showed us two tiny spots that were 2nd degree burns and the rest was all 1st degree. She said he should be completely healed in the next 4-6 weekish time frame and she cancelled his Thursday appointment. Total answer to prayer and obviously the work of God!
Painting
Recently (okay, like a month ago-but that can count as recent, right?) I went with Ann to Ava's house (just pretend you know who they are if you don't already) for a craft night and my heart totally was stirred to paint again. It used to be something that I did with my Great-Grandma when she was alive, but I haven't done since I was about 11. The women there really inspired me to be free in my painting. It's a good thing too, because I recently painted again for the first time in 15 years and I am pretty convinced that Grandma Joyce would sneak back into the art room after I left and "fix" my work. So I now kinda have a love/hate relationship with this painting I just completed. It was freeing, and yet not perfect. I can't stand that it's not perfect, but I love the freedom I feel in it. And I think I do love it because it reminds me of my walk with God, which has been so freeing for me, but at the same time not perfect.
Kindergarten Camp
Michael has started going to Kindergarten Camp at his school, which is a 3 week camp that incoming kindergartners can attend to pretty much get the feel of kindergarten. I like to call it "Pretend Kindergarten". It's much easier to handle then thinking of it as real kindergarten. But he absolutely loves it! Now the waking up early, not so much his cup of tea, but once he gets rolling then he is excited to go. One of the helpers let me know that he does get frustrated if he can't do something perfectly and pretty much wants to give up on whatever it is he is doing (hmmm, I have no idea where my preciouse first born would get that trait from!). It reminds me of an interesting story about myself, actually. But you'll have to ask for that story in person.
The Birthday
In just a few weeks Michael and Caleb will be celebrating their birthday! It seems unreal that Michael will already be five and Caleb will be three. Why so quickly? Michael amazes us everyday with his intelligence and thoughtfulness. And Caleb cracks us up all the time! He recently saw the movie Spy Kids and has taken to repeating everything you say! And if you are in a conversation, he will repeat what both people are saying! I feel so blessed that God chose me to be their mother. If God had allowed us to go with our plan, Michael would only be a few months now and Caleb would not even be a thought to us yet. I am so glad that God gave us His plan instead!
Insomnia
At some point in May, my body decided that sleep is overated and that I need as little to none as possible. Needless to say, this tends to make me a little cranky, confused, forgetfull, etc; Luckily, Jeff has been on vacation so when I hit my wall, if I'm lucky I can take a nap. Which isn't always the case, because often when I try to take the nap I end up feeling restless. Yuck.
Evan's Feet/ A Mother's guilt?
Oh my poor sweet Evan. It's bad enough he can only walk about 4 steps before tripping over air! I had set up my electric kettle to use at our dinning room table for breakfast and he apparently decided that it was the perfect place to take a little stroll. Needless to say he tripped over the cord and the kettle knocked over and poured boiling water on his sweet little feet. This is where the momentary Mother's Guilt comes in. If only...or if only...or...but I don't have time to deal with a Mother's Guilt. If it hadn't been the boiling water it could have just as easily been something else. It's amazing how quickly the enemy plants those cancerous thoughts in your mind. Instead it is thank you Father, it was only his feet.
We know that God has done miraculous healing on his feet! When we had to take him to the burn center in Fresno we were told it would take at least a year to recover and to keep him off of his feet as much as possible (talk apart the parting of the Red Sea--you expect us to keep an active 22 month old, who has active older brothers, off of his feet? PA SHAW!) However, when we took him to the physical therapist on Wednesday, she showed us two tiny spots that were 2nd degree burns and the rest was all 1st degree. She said he should be completely healed in the next 4-6 weekish time frame and she cancelled his Thursday appointment. Total answer to prayer and obviously the work of God!
Painting
Recently (okay, like a month ago-but that can count as recent, right?) I went with Ann to Ava's house (just pretend you know who they are if you don't already) for a craft night and my heart totally was stirred to paint again. It used to be something that I did with my Great-Grandma when she was alive, but I haven't done since I was about 11. The women there really inspired me to be free in my painting. It's a good thing too, because I recently painted again for the first time in 15 years and I am pretty convinced that Grandma Joyce would sneak back into the art room after I left and "fix" my work. So I now kinda have a love/hate relationship with this painting I just completed. It was freeing, and yet not perfect. I can't stand that it's not perfect, but I love the freedom I feel in it. And I think I do love it because it reminds me of my walk with God, which has been so freeing for me, but at the same time not perfect.
Kindergarten Camp
Michael has started going to Kindergarten Camp at his school, which is a 3 week camp that incoming kindergartners can attend to pretty much get the feel of kindergarten. I like to call it "Pretend Kindergarten". It's much easier to handle then thinking of it as real kindergarten. But he absolutely loves it! Now the waking up early, not so much his cup of tea, but once he gets rolling then he is excited to go. One of the helpers let me know that he does get frustrated if he can't do something perfectly and pretty much wants to give up on whatever it is he is doing (hmmm, I have no idea where my preciouse first born would get that trait from!). It reminds me of an interesting story about myself, actually. But you'll have to ask for that story in person.
The Birthday
In just a few weeks Michael and Caleb will be celebrating their birthday! It seems unreal that Michael will already be five and Caleb will be three. Why so quickly? Michael amazes us everyday with his intelligence and thoughtfulness. And Caleb cracks us up all the time! He recently saw the movie Spy Kids and has taken to repeating everything you say! And if you are in a conversation, he will repeat what both people are saying! I feel so blessed that God chose me to be their mother. If God had allowed us to go with our plan, Michael would only be a few months now and Caleb would not even be a thought to us yet. I am so glad that God gave us His plan instead!
7.09.2008
June's Mom of the Month
Okay, I know this one was a bit delayed. There is a good reason. It all boils down to what the best way to describe Ann Moore. Fabulous mom of 4 beautiful girls. Creative. Smart. A lot of fun to be around. Encouraging. Honest. A great listener. A teacher. A great small group leader.
What else can I say? Probably a hundred other things(which is why this did not get posted sooner). Ann is incredible and an inspiration. Love you, Ann!
P.S. I do have a picture of Ann, which is currantly on my disfunctional computer (thank you, Evan), so I will post her lovely picture as soon as I can.
What else can I say? Probably a hundred other things(which is why this did not get posted sooner). Ann is incredible and an inspiration. Love you, Ann!
P.S. I do have a picture of Ann, which is currantly on my disfunctional computer (thank you, Evan), so I will post her lovely picture as soon as I can.
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